Welcome to this amazing world! The world of Kizomba.
You may find this letter somewhat confusing at times, somewhat too straightforward or you might actually find it useful (I surely hope so).
I was in your shoes over two years ago, when I took my first class of Kizomba. It was love at first step and I am totally addicted to it ever since. It’s not just the moves or different styles; it is also the music that has unexpectedly seduced me. Dancing Kizomba and listening to Kizomba music gives me an enormous sense of comfort and pleasure, puts me in a state of nirvana where the outside world and its problems do not exist, where I feel Happy. Yes, happy. For someone who does not dance (and I don’t just mean does not dance Kizomba but any other dance out there) it might be hard to understand. But trust me; you will know exactly what I am talking about very soon! J
Before you begin, or while you are still in your “Kizomba virgin” state of mind and soul, couple of things I would like to say.
I remember my first festival, how nervous and truly terrified I was inviting guys for a dance, how I was apologizing (a lot lol!) when making mistakes, and how good it felt when you finally got that move! The sense of satisfaction when you could dance several songs with same partner and make no mistakes or be able to follow his every turn its just wow….to this day to me its wow! It is when I can truly enjoy and have fun while dancing. Here comes the tricky part: I can only do that (follow and enjoy) with very few dancers, and these would be the dancers I have some sort of connection. STOP RIGHT THERE, not the connection some of you might think! U will just feel it clicking when you start dancing with one guy or another. It’s when he takes you in an ”open” or “closed” position and you just FEEL it’s going to be an amazing dance. I guess it depends on the guys a lot too. The sense of stability and comfort they give you in a dance. And, what a lot of guys used to tell me, is that if you, a girl, make a mistake in a dance; it’s the guy’s fault, means he is not leading properly. So, do not get discouraged. Ask as many people for a dance as you can and make as many mistakes as possible! This is the only way to learn!
And asking you will be doing a lot! As sad as it is to admit, these days the dancers suffer with a major EGO problem, if they know they are good and popular with girls, they will not bother asking you for a dance. Literally not bother! They will just stand there watching everyone (reminds me of discos years ago where men stood all on one side like a hoard of horses and watched the ladies move. Pathetic) and wait for someone to invite them. And ,because these days the number of women at ANY event is far greater than the number of men, they actually can also choose to accept your invitation or not…you know…if you’re not cute enough, or slim enough, or good enough or whatever enough…giving you an excuse like “ oh I’m just having a break” ( even though he’s stood there for like 30 mins already), “I’m just sipping on my drink”, “I’m waiting for somebody”, bla bla bla…
Kizomba will take a lot out of you – emotionally, physically, and financially. Since I started dancing, the number of parties and festivals around the world has increased so much its just gone crazy! So, if you want to dance a lot and travel a lot be prepared to pay! It does not come cheap these days: flights, accommodation, passes + food & drink expenses. You will be tired as hell and need days for recovery and an emotional wreck who might need some counseling sessions lol (joking…or not really…)
Emotional exhaustion that comes as a defaulted +1 with Kizomba could be discussed as a separate topic altogether. Oh Girl, you will enjoy the male attention! There will be a lot of it! You will swim in the sea of compliments and sweet words, (and Oh boy are they good at it!!) and in the offers for an occasional, no-ties hook-up. Yes yes you got that right. It can even happen during the dance with a dancer you haven’t seen or danced before! Don’t get me wrong, I am not here to mother you – you want him? You feel him? Go for it! BUT… at no point in time, please, be so overshadowed by his sweet words and cutest smile, to think or believe that you are his only ONE. Because, the truth is, you are not. If he has an inch of decency he will tell you that from the very start, but practice has proven that decency is one thing that’s lacking a lot in Kizomba. I used to think that I knew all the tricks already, but even these days I can get surprised by the lengths men will go to take you to bed…I guess innovation is a way forward lol
I have heard more stories that I could count on my fingers and, of course, experienced some myself. And stories, you will be hearing a lot of those too. Want my advice? Unless you heard them from the person involved, be smart, do not believe and trust everything you are told.
There are times when, after a festival, I feel like I could write a novel with so much that is happening and all the drama that surrounds it. Main thing is, if that’s your passion, if you love the music and enjoy dancing as much as I do, than forget all your worries at home and give it your all! Go to parties with a clear head and an open mind, dance till your feet hurt like hell and meet as many people as you like, because regardless of all the negative points, nothing will replace the “trance” state of mind that you will have in the dance, the pure joy of a beautiful and passionate connection between you and your dance partner! And when you will start travelling to festivals with a group of people, you will make great friends and countless memories that no one will ever be able to take away from you!