Socializing in Kizomba and Media life. Part 1

Part 1. Social Media Life

socializing in kizomba1

This subject is interesting to study, but frankly speaking I have no time for that. I will share only my own experience and my thoughts. Socializing in kizomba is a hot topic and a hot activity. One of 3 main ones (will you guess the other two, by the way? :))


Since I got into the dance scene I started adding a lot of new “dancing friends” into my Facebook list.  My other “normal” friends were a bit shocked by how colorful my FB page was becoming… Literally colorful, I should say! And asking me questions trying to understand my new exotic hobby. Because it IS exotic. Now I have half of Africa and Caribbeans in my Social Media. Even more black then white.

Sometimes people ask me “Why “”? And I reply “But look at the dance floor! That’s why!”

Therefore, to avoid unnecessary explanations to my relatives I realized I had to set some restrictions in my account. I created a closed group “Kizomba” and now all my dancing contacts, activities, likes, tags, photos, etc.. remain private. No more questions from my mom: “Are you in Paris with 5 black man???” (lol). Although we live an the 21st century, we travel abroad, we are open-minded, but still…

My FB and Instagram accounts

Also, I hided my general friends’ list that no one could see it and no one could know how many friends in total I have. That was the best thing I’ve ever done in Social Media. It’s not possible to do the same thing in Instagram. That’s why I simply have two accounts – my personal one and professional – “Kizomba Blog”. The second one is opened. Anyone can follow me. And my dancing life. The personal one is only for my real friends, or at least for people I know well, or people whom I give a chance to get to know me better. But I never, NEVER, accept anyone I do not know personally neither in my Facebook nor in my Instagram accounts.

Yes, I want to spread a word about my blog, I want to make it the most popular Kizomba Blog in the world! (my blog is just an example, for you it could be your teaching or your DJ label). But I still separate my socializing in kizomba with my private photos, news and events. I can seem very open, talkative and easy-going, but not to the point of absolutely loosing control. Although I can tell you almost all my life in the first 5 minutes we get to know each other, and my honesty and openness may result shocking and scaring… But I’m still being pretty careful online.


There is something else I did. I unfollowed in Facebook almost everyone. I am so tired of endless advertisements and demos, and being tagged on every publication hundred of times, especially of the same event! I’m sure it happens to you too. It’s annoying. And it’s boring to see the same Lady Styling videos that don’t differ one from another at all. The music and decorations change, but it’s always the same bunda moving in the same directions. Even if it’s the most beautiful and sexy bunda in the world, it’s still all about the same.. And when you watch it for 3 years every few days, believe me, you get tired of it.

I apologize in advance for my opinion, considering it’s a kind of Art anyway, and maybe a hard work and an effort. It’s always appreciated when people are brave enough to express themselves through writing, dancing, painting or whatever form of art they prefer.

I also understand that Facebook is a very important strategical promotional tool, which cannot be ignored if you are trying to gain audience. I use it as well for promoting my blog.


And still, I would advise you, guys, to try to be a bit more creative!  I would post less videos, but making them as much particular as possible. Otherwise my eyes hurt. I don’t see the point of sharing every  single dance from every festival just to gain some more scores. I think you might have an opposite effect and repel people from yourself instead of attracting attention. They will unfollow you too if you convert their FB-wall into a rubbish bit. So, please, think twice, better three times, before you post one more video and tag 100 people on it.

PS: I do it with my posts)))  and, let’s be honest, it’s like a non-verbal game. If I support someone’s event, they would support (like, share, re-post) mine. Business, in one word. So, I don’t actually know if they really sincerely like my writing or put their “likes” just to tag me on their next publication and get my “like” and comments in return. 


At the moment the overall situation is 80/20, meaning about 80% belong to my Kizomba friends and the rest 20% are my “normal” ones, which clearly demonstrates and proves how important this dance became in my life.

Nevertheless, some people enter, but some also leave… my accounts. They leave themselves or I kick them out. As in real socializing in kizomba we get attached, get emotional and vulnerable, as soon as it goes wrong (arguments, etc…), the first thing to do is to block this person in Facebook and unfollow him in Instagram. This is funny, because we still see each other on the dance floor. So, you will ask me “Why to block then?” In fact we cannot totally disappear from each other’s lives. Unless we stop dancing at all.

Well, the reasons can be that stupid like “he won’t know to which festival I’m going to” or “he won’t be able to text me (reach me) any more whenever he wants”. Actually, he won’t know many things. Because in Facebook it’s very easy to understand our preferences. It’s an incredibly (although not-trusted) database, from where you can jump into all kinds of conclusions. If you have good observation skills, you can chase some tendencies.

For example

I had a friend, who “liked” every photo of a new girl he was interested in. It lasted just the period he was having an affair with her. As soon as he got over-saturated by her, he stopped “liking” anything on her page. So, we could always know who is occupying his thoughts and his bed at the moment. That simple.

The same happens with girls who support by sharing and “liking” every festival of the organizer she sleeps with (or her official Boyfriend), or every new track of a DJ she sleeps with. And all this strong promotion campaign finishes when they break up. Thus you can already suspect they are not together any more just being a bit more attentive on Facebook. Or vice versa.

In my personal case I had both experiences: I blocked, and I was blocked. I did it when I was very angry with someone, but I always regretted it afterwards. And once even added back jaja, when my anger was over. It’s not in my nature to be that tough. Those who blocked me it’s because I pissed them off. And I know why. I understand them, but I believe and really hope I’m still in their hearts.

A favor

Dear followers, I would like to ask you a favor: sometimes you read my articles and get curious about me, finding my social media accounts and sending me your friend’s requests. Please don’t! I am really sorry, but until we meet in person I cannot accept your requests.

Dear “friends”, please don’t be surprised when I directly delete you from my Facebook. It’s definitely because in the last 10 times that we met you didn’t even say “hello” to me. So, I find it logical. My Facebook platform is for those with who I communicate at least somehow in my real life.

Dear real Friends, please don’t get mad at me if I delete or block you. It’s the love-hate thing, most probably because I’m too indifferent towards you.


Socializing in kizomba. Networking. Part 2

To be continued…



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