Yesterday I got a question in my PM from one of my followers: “I´m very unhappy about some certain things in Kizomba going on, with all the money spent on it and all the tiredness. It was worth it in the beginning, but now I feel just so sad because of people´s behaviors. Going to festivals should make me happy, not make me sad like this. What do you suggest me to do? Should I take a break from kizomba?”
My first reaction was a smile on my face, as I have found myself in the same situation for the last several months as well. I was all the time telling everyone “I´m going to take a break from kizomba”, but still booking my next trip. Like fighting myself to stop it, but not having enough willpower to make it happen. I rationally realize that any kind of addition must be controlled. I tried to dozen it, telling my family and friends that from now on I will attend only 1 festival every 3 months (obviously not considering local 1-night parties). But till now I have never kept my promise.
After reading yesterday´s email I was thinking what to reply to this person… and to myself. I finally answered a few nice words, like “go with the flow” (which not that bad answer neither), but the question stuck in my head and unconsciously I was still looking for better explanations.
Today at work I’ve been listening to kizomba music with my headphones all day long… I suddenly realized that I was doing the same thing as over three years ago, when I just made my first steps – listening to kizomba all the time and everywhere. I never got tired of this music. People were wondering how it is possible to listen to it 24-hours 7 days a week. My car, my bathroom, my iPhone & Soundcloud playlists, my get-together with friends… all around the way.
I still love it today. I’m not ready to quit. I can’t force myself. Maybe one day it will come… my burn out. But it will happen naturally. Not now. Not today. Let’s be honest to ourselves. Let’s listen to ourselves and follow our hearts, not our heads.
Everything finishes one day. I realize that this is just a period in my life. A beautiful period. I know it will end. That’s why now I enjoy it at maximum, I breathe deeply and relish it. I’m trying to look for positive thing in it. What most helps me to continue in this dancing world is actually DANCING! It’s closing my eyes, trying to feel unknown energies, accept them, catching the same wave.
The more people I know, the more the kizomba scene becomes all about socializing, the more time I spend on conversations, drinking at pre-parties (which imperceptibly pass into parties, as they finish at 2-3 in the morning) rather that on the dance-floor. Yes, I enjoy hanging out with my “veterans”, gossiping, laughing and playing fool. But, I still miss the dance-floor a lot. And at 11:30 pm I start asking my friends: “Are we finally going out of this hotel room or what? I want to dance!!!” And they all reply: “Calm down! There’s nothing to do on the dance-floor yet. Relax and enjoy the moment”.
And I stay. But my thoughts fly away to that big dark room, full of slowly moving people. I get nervous and think to myself: “Next time I go to a festival alone, and, like a beginner, I´ll come to parties as early as possible in order not to miss any minute of it! Even if I must dance with beginners, I don´t care. At least I will listen to this magical music and savor the atmosphere”. In the end, that’s why I keep on going. And while I never have enough of dancing, I’ll be there. So, my dear followers, after all mentioned above, for sure I say, it’s not my time to take a break from kizomba, “See you on the dance floor!” =)