Santa Barbara

It is that big kizomba festival, one of the best in Europe, where everyone goes, and where among the crowd you do not even meet your friends in 3 days, as there are too many people. But there´s always That Person you´ll see through the bunch of people, you will figure him/her out even if you are lost in an ocean, you will follow him by the smell, you´ll grow a third eye on the back of your head to watch him. That special person you want to dance with most, the one you were thinking about while getting ready for the weekend, the one you called and made sure he/she would come.

Now you are nervous, having your second mojito (caipirinia, wiski-cola, etc.) to relieve stress. He/she doesn´t pay attention to you, hardly said “hey” and all the time busy dancing with others… You take a deep breath and invite her/him for a dance. In two songs, he/she says “thank you” and disappears in the crowd again. You are upset, frustrated, trying to enjoy the party, getting distracted by the music, friends, etc.. But nothing works out for you. So,

Option 1: you get drunk and smoke outside complaining about the shitty weather, festival and life in general. The night is gone….

Option 2: you call your ex… During the night/social, you are high and distracted somehow. In the morning, you feel empty and sometimes regret what you did.

Option 3: you dance with someone else, unexpectedly you have an incredible connection in the dance and an interesting conversation afterwards, and your stomach is filled with butterflies again, you smile, you are excited, you feel the atmosphere, inspired for new improvisations. Everything around is magical. Then you realize – you switched and you MOVE ON! (Doesn’t happen every time, but in the kizomba world much more often than anywhere else in “normal” life)


On this scene people can fall in love 5 times a year, they can feel connections with several partners at the same time, they can be in love with all of them at the same time, or want all of them at the same time, or even have sex with some of them together at the same time!
I´ve heard many stories, which seem incredible, but have their right for existence. Threesomes, foursomes, in all possible combinations, mixed genders, nationalities, ages. Guys filming their sex experiences secretly (or even openly! with the agreement of a girl) and sending snapchats to their friends to show them what a nice ass they could fuck tonight. Sometimes there are more than one ¨movie¨ per night. Yeaa, this is not any news already for anyone. The most popular guys are able to get 5-6 different sex partners in one night, especially in festivals like Rovinj.

Girls do not lag behind

They are even more emancipated! They offer themselves! A normal dancer, not even a teacher or a taxi dancer or a famous artist from Paris, can receive several invitations per night (I mean invitations for sex, indicating the hotel room number). This is more common for Easten countries, where black men are very in demand, but also often found in Europe. Girls can also have several partners in one night, and they agree to do it in the same room with partner´s friends, and even invite his friends to join them in the act!

What I am trying to say is that they are no better than men.

Real talk when a girl from a small town makes thousands of kilometers in order to have sex with a famous kizomba artist or Dj. She would book a room and preview every little detail to make it easy and comfortable for him. She would wrap her around his neck and beg him to go with her to the room. Sounds incredible and humiliating, but it is so. People hungry for sex, insecure, with very low self-esteem, those who do not know how to control themselves, who have lost their last principles and dignity, ready for a minimum, picking up crumbs after dinner, donating their bodies, without self-respect, without thinking about the consequences.. I can enumerate indefinitely!!!

What is wrong with them? What is wrong with all us? Psychological traumas? Lack of love in childhood? What leads us to blurring our own boundaries? To the loss of the inner core? What causes us to lose ourselves?

Some are engaged in debauchery openly, they don´t care what people say. Others play games: beloved girlfriend and a number of mistresses behind her back. Very often you have conversations of two girlfriends, telling each other their love stories, and after a while finding out that they speak about the same man.


The most interesting thing is that THEY ALL KNOW EACH OTHER! Moreover, they TALK! Don’t just do all above-mentioned things, but talk about them, discuss in little details, attaching photos and screenshots of conversations. That´s why this is a whole Santa Barbara thing. Even Santa Barbara is not in any comparison with Santa Kizomba! So, maybe the recently popular slogan “Raconte pas ta vie!!!” (“Don´t tell about your life”)  is the best advice ever and you should take it serious.

Pregnancies, tears, scandals, promises, break-ups, revenges, etc. – all this is part of our wonderful world called the Kizomba dance! Who said this is a fake world? I see nothing fake in it. It is a huge vibrating organism, a Family, particular one, but as real as everything else in this world where we live, suffer and rejoice, change and grow.  This is the most real thing I have ever experienced in my life, on all levels- physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual.

Leave a Reply