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TANTRA vs KIZOMBA

tantric danceI first learned about Tantra when I was 12. My neighbor next door did tantra practices, which made me very curious about the subject. I knew it was related somehow to sex, although not exactly. It sounded mysterious to my young inexperienced mind,  so asking myself lots of questions it stuck in my memory till I discovered kizomba dance. That´s when I realized “It sounds familiar to me… hmm… Tantra?”

Once my neighbor told me: “It’s when you can have orgasm without even touching each other

The original concept of Tantra comes from Sanskrit तन्त्र, which literally means “continuity”, “connection”, “thread”. Tantra is an art of interaction on different levels: body, energy and consciousness. It is a conscious work with energies – internal and external.

The basis of Tantra is the classical Indian dance. Hindu dancers know all of the energy channels that are included under a certain position, their interaction with the partner, the flow of energy throughout the body. This dance, for the most part, is purely improvisational, activates the chakras, and the harmony of this depends on the skill of the dancer. Ancient and modern Taoists call this process the interaction of Yin and Yang.

It gives a greater degree of intimacy, adjustment to each other and mutual understanding, the ability to listen and hear each other, a new way of communication.

This is a practice for those who want to study emotions at a deeper level, to communicate with oneself and with a partner. Working with energy throughout the body is one of the most important components of this path. It presents the techniques of breathing and self-regulation, active mental and motor practice.

   Sacral, spontaneous, energy dance! It does not matter what movements we do, the main thing here is the awareness of the process, the process of creation, the creation of space. The tantric principle expressed as the interaction of two universal opposite principles, who are in their essence, as one.

Tantric dance is a meditative exercise for freeing the soul, increasing vitality, preparing the mind for the state of deep trance and the way to make the body more mobile. Tantric Dance helps to bring emotional balance, joy & well-being into daily life, relieve you of internal stress, raise the energy of kundalini; relieve tension in the genital area, which positively affects sexual relations; awaken spiritual forces, creativity & eroticism, the ability to feel energy within oneself, etc…

   Does anything sounds like KIZOMBA to you??

Since I dance kizomba I’ve always been comparing it to Tantra in my mind… But obviously we, kizomba dancers, don’t know anything  about chakras, energy channels, how to activate anything, etc… (well, I know because I have studied it, but a normal person doesn’t). We don’t know, but we FEEL!!! We just DANCE and FEEL… This is the unconscious knowledge that drives us to dance more with one partner or another.

Men could wonder why I dance sometimes so closely.     Does this mean I “invite” them for more?   Is it the “Green Light“?    Am I a dissatisfied woman looking for some warmth and affection?

You know what?  Some people don’t need to be that close to feel the energy of a partner. It’s like in Reiki: I can physically apply my hands on your body, or I can just keep them over the body at a short distance – the effect is the same. But some people don’t mind me touching them; they even ask for it in order to feel better the energy flow, because they simply enjoy physical contact. While others prefer to avoid it. We are all different! What one likes and considers “normal”, “acceptable”, “decent” – someone else considers as “too much”, “extravagant” or “vulgar”. Each person has his own ideas about the same thing, and they may not and need not to coincide with the opinion of another.

How many times I’ve heard from some girlfriend “Oh he’s an AMAZING dancer!!!”, then I danced with him and was disappointed, because I didn’t feel half of what my friend told me. Each of us attracts certain type of energies. This is for sure.

I like to be touched. I like going to the hairdresser and having my hair washed…uumm yummi!!! I like visiting Beauty Centers and having treatments for my face and body, applying all kinds of scrubs & masks. I Love all types of massages. Even just when my back is scrached:))

Obviously, I don’t let everyone to get that close in a dance, but for me personally it’s difficult to understand the leading from a partner when he is too far from me. I lose control of my body. I need to have more body contact. There are really few dancers able to lead so well that they can stand quite far and I will understand what exactly they want from me. To me they are the best dancers ever!!! (no names here LOL).  But the rest is for “douceur”! In other words, for Tantra!

So, is it so bad to enjoy the way a partner makes waves with his belly? For me it´s magical!!! For me sometimes a dance is better than sex.

What really makes me wonder, is the emotional part, that is different from Tantra. Unfortunately this part is very poor in Kizomba. There’s no deep emotional connection. Inspite all its intimacy, sometimes there’s no emotional connection at all in kizomba… Should I think it’s because we haven’t gone far from animals?   And,  given expriences of some friends,  even when it comes to sex, there’s nothing else but physical part. It still surprises me a lot.

Thinking of WHY…   Too much choice? Too easy? Too much diversity? Too much rotation?  Does it make us less sensitive? Don´t we have time to dive deeper? Are we scared to make it right? Scared to GIVE? To TRUST? To GO FURTHER? Or we just DON’T CARE?

All these contradictions, the paradox of such a strong connection in the dance and such a poor connection in sex, are still issues to be analyzed… We still have a long way to perfection and true feelings.

But this article is written to make you think about it, to be more conscious of our bodies, and especially, not to separate them from our souls!

3 Comments »

  1. Kizomba is a family dance.
    Angolans usually fight the sexualisation of Kizomba, and rightfully so.
    I get your idea, but I think that in our societies, where physical contact and emotional interaction are very limited and replaced by coolness, we might be overwhelmed by what we feel in what we are not used to.
    The idea of Kizomba-Tantra relation applies – to me- more to the Ghettozouk and Tarraxhina variations.

    Even when dancing full contact in Tarraxina or Ghettozouk I don´t relate that to what you would feel in a Tantric situation with a partner, this is still another quality of depth and emotion.
    Nonetheless, – I open up and relate in full extend to my partner, feeling that the energy created is more than the sum of what both invest. Maybe that´s why I feel much more alive when driving home from a party.
    As for the lack of emotional connection, – I guess it makes only “click” with a few.
    And not everybody wants that.
    In creating UrbanKiz, the emotional and deep-connection part -to me- was completely replaced by coolness and showing-off, also taking away the risk of exposing yourself emotionally.

    But you have a point there, you see and feel more than meets the eye. There´s an article about the “Healing Touch” quality of Kizomba, going the same direction.
    I second all that, but this approach will only be shared by few. The trick is to find enough of likely-minded fellows to have great dances, meet great people, and experience this wonderful way to it´s fullest extend.
    You´re on a good way, maybe we meet on a festival somewhere down the road!

    • Dear Steffen,
      Thanks a lot for your opinion. I really appreciate it. Obviously you seem to know more than me about the subject. I received all kinds of reactions since I published the article. And your point of view is very interesting and has the right to exist. Feel free to read my other articles, subscribe to my blog and I hope you will enjoy the reading!! See you one day on the dance floor. regards, K.

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