pre-party & after-party kizomba concepts

Today I speak about concepts. Those who have been dancing for a long time would wonder why. Well, there are always people who don’t know, like the beginners’ category. We have to consider them, and explain things. When I worked at Kizomba Luxembourg Festival I had a situation that made me think it over: a girl approached me with a question “What is a kizomba Taxi-dancer? How can I identify him/her? Do I have to contract him to dance with me?” Then I suddenly realized that not everything what is so obvious for you is clear for others. So, this time, instead of putting on a paper my own thoughts, I made it different: I held a small survey on the Pre-party and After-party subject, asking my friends and acquaintances in random order how they would describe to a beginner what pre-party and after-party is, their opinions, attitude, etc.… And this is what I got:

Enjoy the reading!


Pre-party is a get together with your friends and friends of your friends to get in the mood for the party. After-party is a small party after the party to continue dancing but then more in a relaxing way (with chiller music and chiller clothes/shoes). After-party arranged in a hotel room only happens when the organization didn’t organize an official after-party. I find this okay, because dancers just wanna dance as much as they can. Personally, I’m not a fan of having people over my room, so I prefer to go somewhere else. But also I’m not a huge fan of an after-party in a room, its too small that it makes me uncomfortable to dance. I like an official after-party with a real DJ and real floor.


Pre-party is a kind of warm up to get ready for the bigger Party coming up

After-party is when you don’t have enough of dancing… Enjoying the connection with the partner and you want more dancing until no end

I like private parties …being a participant


For me, there is a difference between private kizomba parties and official parties.

Private PRE-parties: personnally, I go this pre-parties to have a drink with friends/known people, to have a talk, maybe to dance a bit, it’s more like a warm up! just to prepare myself for the “party-mood”.

Official pre-party: they often happen on Thursdays and most of the kizombeiros are coming on Friday! For me, it’s like a normal party, in the week, because you see all the luxembourgish face, that you already know 😛

Private AFTER-Party: the occasion to continue dancing in the good mood, with you frieds, talk about the party, continue drinking. But some other songs (for example funana), just for fun, do some “tarraxha-battles” and crazy stuff like this.

Offical AFTER-party: I really don’t like this after parties, 90% of slow songs and I have the impression that this goes more on a sexual way …


What a girl thinks: nice I have been invited to a pre-party / after-party, let’s try to get to know the people/ dancers/DJs/ organizers better

What a guy thinks: great! Which girl would probably have sex with me before/ after?


I think a pre-party is good way to gather people together to chat before parties, don’t prefer to stay myself too long as usually involves a lot of drinking and might miss most of the party and dancing, wouldn’t want to have it in my room as involves some effort for the host plus sometimes more people show up than expected and get out of hands.

After-parties not my thing as usually by that time it is more like a match making event .

In general a pre-party is are good way to get into the mood for the dance party by gathering people if anyway staying in one hotel or if scattered around, parties usually too loud to properly talk and people in different corners so a pre-party is a nice way to begin the evening.

after-parties are good if main party finishes too early and want people want more to dance, chat etc but usually as I said too late hours make it much more of hooking up with somebody rather than dancing etc

I personally don’t see any problem neither with pre-party nor with after parties. I think it’s a good way to continue the party or to prolong it in case organizers finish parties very early or start it very late because of shows, animations etc.
It’s usually small parties either organized by official promoters/organizers or by private person who invite people they know and these people invite people they know. The atmosphere in pre/after-parties is more relaxed, girls often don’t wear dancing shoes and its often more about hanging out, chatting and drinking together than ‘hardcore’ dancing
I prefer ‘official’ after-parties in an extra room and DJs than on a carpet in the hotel room and with a speaker.
I like the pre-parties at the hotel rooms – meeting some people, having a drink and only then going to the main party.
But it always depends on people who invite. In some case these kind of parties are seen as a green light for the further ‘activities’, so I prefer to do these kind of parties only with the people I know to avoid the uncomfortable situations
I don’t organize pre-party or after parties. I prefer to keep my hotel room as my private sphere. If my friends invite me, I usually attend them.


Pre-party are ok. I like it (if there is enough time) .. to get in the mood, socialize, have some fun, drinks something.. it’s really nice..

But the after parties if I have to explain them..; It’s a party after the regular party.. if you are not done dancing you can go there but mostly those after-parties (depending where they are) are all about sex ..

In my opinion an after-party is not necessary.. Most of the time the regular night party ends at 6 in the morning.. why would you continue dancing ..

So after parties it depends on your mood.. If you are horny go for that intention.. of the party stopped to early you can go dancing.. But it all depends on the concept and location.

I don’t go to afters because I think it’s for whores, if it is in a hotel room.

Unless I have a relation/romance with someone who invites me.. and if it’s just socializing nothing trashy then it’s ok lol


In a room with mixed feelings, officially organized in big room really good idea. Cause its not really about dancing


For me an after-party means dancing. For many people it means kissing, touching, sex?
Well, if you fit very well with somebody it can be more close. But that can also happen on the normal dancefloor. That can be very nice as long as you know the boarders. Well, some people do not have boarders
I think after-parties are more dangerous because often its dark, slow music, cozy atmosphere…
Normally I am invited for those parties.
The good thing: most of the time it´s the same amount of boys and girls. And: only good dancers and its really relaxed, no showing off.
No-go for me are those parties in the pool… not my style.
Pre-parties are more for warming up, drinking… they are fine. Nice to have.
Oh and just to mention: the official “afters” are nice to have but the smaller private ones are more exclusive most of the time


After-parties I only did once so Ii can’t really tell. Nevertheless I didn’t like it much because there was a break between the party and the after-party and difficult to get back in the mood .
Private room after-parties Ii never did, but I don’t think it would suit me . Everybody is tired after a party ( if you danced a lot) , also normally there is no space and most people go there “pour coller”/ or have another chance to finish the evening with someone. So for me it’s not so much about dancing anymore .
On the other side I like pre-party , it’s like an ” ouverture” to the main party , not too much people / everybody exited to see again and what the main party/ festival will bring .


Pre-party for me as a warm up before a Party if you don’t wanna go there early but still want to chat dance drink and chill with people you know. It is also a way of get to know new people, since you don’t get to talk and chill at the party. It is a good way to socialize since it is relaxed. At the party there is not much time for socializing. People are stressed, want to look good dance, impress or whatever.

After-party for me is for those who are not tired yet and still can dance or haven’t danced at the party. I am aware that many people see/use it for other purposes.
I think girls should be aware of that too when they go to an after-party. It doesn’t mean that all after-parties are the same. Actually all the after-parties I have been to didn’t end up with naked people. But I have heard stories


When I first heard about the pre-party /after-party my initial idea of this was that people gathered together to have few drinks, a chat, a laugh, some dancing before or after an evening party at a festival.

After few years in kizomba scene, I can tell you that for me pre-party and after-parties are now about an actual party only with my own group of friends… If it’s just girls we can get ready together, have few drinks, laugh, talk about things etc.…ifs it’s a mix between girl and guy friends then we can also include some dances to the above list..

If however, you are invited to a pre or after party by a kizomba teacher, DJ, taxi or just a guy you don’t really know but danced with once or twice, then expect that you will be seduced into more than just dancing! Or the dancing will become to sensual, too close, it will get too hot .. No wonder why most of the people now associate after parties with sex. If you are arriving to an after party and find yourself with the guy alone, then definitely expect that he is expecting to sleep with you. If you arrive to an after party and there are other people, and you dance with one guy most of the time or the whole night, and exchange some smiles and sweet words, then even if you don’t sleep with him people will be talking that you either already did, or definitely will J



I first learned about Tantra when I was 12. My neighbor next door did tantra practices, which made me very curious about the subject. I knew it was related somehow to sex, although not exactly. It sounded mysterious to my young inexperienced mind,  so asking myself lots of questions it stuck in my memory till I discovered kizomba dance. That´s when I realized “It sounds familiar to me… hmm… Tantra?”

Once my neighbor told me: “It’s when you can have orgasm without even touching each other


The original concept of Tantra comes from Sanskrit तन्त्र, which literally means “continuity”, “connection”, “thread”. Tantra is an art of interaction on different levels: body, energy and consciousness. It is a conscious work with energies – internal and external.

The basis of Tantra is the classical Indian dance. Hindu dancers know all of the energy channels that are included under a certain position, their interaction with the partner, the flow of energy throughout the body. This dance, for the most part, is purely improvisational, activates the chakras, and the harmony of this depends on the skill of the dancer. Ancient and modern Taoists call this process the interaction of Yin and Yang.

It gives a greater degree of intimacy, adjustment to each other and mutual understanding, the ability to listen and hear each other, a new way of communication.

This is a practice for those who want to study emotions at a deeper level, to communicate with oneself and with a partner. Working with energy throughout the body is one of the most important components of this path. It presents the techniques of breathing and self-regulation, active mental and motor practice.


   Sacral, spontaneous, energy dance! It does not matter what movements we do, the main thing here is the awareness of the process, the process of creation, the creation of space. The tantric principle expressed as the interaction of two universal opposite principles, who are in their essence, as one.

Tantric dance is a meditative exercise for freeing the soul, increasing vitality, preparing the mind for the state of deep trance and the way to make the body more mobile. Tantric Dance helps to bring emotional balance, joy & well-being into daily life, relieve you of internal stress, raise the energy of kundalini; relieve tension in the genital area, which positively affects sexual relations; awaken spiritual forces, creativity & eroticism, the ability to feel energy within oneself, etc…


   Does anything sounds like KIZOMBA to you??

Since I dance kizomba I’ve always been comparing it to Tantra in my mind… But obviously we, kizomba dancers, don’t know anything  about chakras, energy channels, how to activate anything, etc… (well, I know because I have studied it, but a normal person doesn’t). We don’t know, but we FEEL!!! We just DANCE and FEEL… This is the unconscious knowledge that drives us to dance more with one partner or another.

Men could wonder why I dance sometimes so closely.     Does this mean I “invite” them for more?   Is it the “Green Light“?    Am I a dissatisfied woman looking for some warmth and affection?

You know what?  Some people don’t need to be that close to feel the energy of a partner. It’s like in Reiki: I can physically apply my hands on your body, or I can just keep them over the body at a short distance – the effect is the same. But some people don’t mind me touching them; they even ask for it in order to feel better the energy flow, because they simply enjoy physical contact. While others prefer to avoid it. We are all different! What one likes and considers “normal”, “acceptable”, “decent” – someone else considers as “too much”, “extravagant” or “vulgar”. Each person has his own ideas about the same thing, and they may not and need not to coincide with the opinion of another.


How many times I’ve heard from some girlfriend “Oh he’s an AMAZING dancer!!!”, then I danced with him and was disappointed, because I didn’t feel half of what my friend told me. Each of us attracts certain type of energies. This is for sure.

Importance of the body contact

I like to be touched. I like going to the hairdresser and having my hair washed…uumm yummi!!! I like visiting Beauty Centers and having treatments for my face and body, applying all kinds of scrubs & masks. I Love all types of massages. Even just when my back is scrached:))

Obviously, I don’t let everyone to get that close in a dance, but for me personally it’s difficult to understand the leading from a partner when he is too far from me. I lose control of my body. I need to have more body contact. There are really few dancers able to lead so well that they can stand quite far and I will understand what exactly they want from me. To me they are the best dancers ever!!! (no names here LOL).  But the rest is for “douceur”! In other words, for Tantra!

So, is it so bad to enjoy the way a partner makes waves with his belly? For me it´s magical!!! For me sometimes a dance is better than sex.


What really makes me wonder, is the emotional part, that is different from Tantra. Unfortunately this part is very poor in Kizomba. There’s no deep emotional connection. Inspite all its intimacy, sometimes there’s no emotional connection at all in kizomba… Should I think it’s because we haven’t gone far from animals?   And,  given expriences of some friends,  even when it comes to sex, there’s nothing else but physical part. It still surprises me a lot.

the WHY

Thinking of WHY…   Too much choice? Too easy? Too much diversity? Too much rotation?  Does it make us less sensitive? Don´t we have time to dive deeper? Are we scared to make it right? Scared to GIVE? To TRUST? To GO FURTHER? Or we just DON’T CARE?

All these contradictions, the paradox of such a strong connection in the dance and such a poor connection in sex, are still issues to be analyzed… We still have a long way to perfection and true feelings.

But this article is written to make you think about it, to be more conscious of our bodies, and especially, not to separate them from our souls!