I’m a very curious and addicted person. I had a lot of hobbies in my life, starting with the topic ones like Musical School and Scout association, ending with Reiki and Astrology. Although I really enjoy my favorite activities and I love all of them, nothing can be compared to dancing kizomba. I have never gone so crazy about something! Being the addicted type of person, I start things putting much energy in the beginning and then losing interest very quickly.. I have a long list of unfinished hobbies like that.
But Kizomba dance is special. It’s my DRUG… It’s the thing I cannot live without right now. When I dance a lot, I feel great, I look great, I radiate happiness! When the intensive moment is over I get sad, becoming a bit apathetic.. (post-festival syndrome). Obviously, there are things in this world that make me happy as well, but they cannot substitute kizomba to me.
I remember very well my first months attending 1 hour lessons once a week, on Tuesdays. Tuesday was the D-Day of 2015! I waited for it all the remaining 6 days of the week, like a count down to the best moment of my existence. Every Tuesday morning I woke up in a wonderful mood!!! I was “flying” all day long, like there was something magical about to happen that day. All my friends knew that Tuesday is MY DAY. I think that the way I drove my car I could do even with closed eyes, even totally drunk or physically unable. It’s been months since I dance and I still love it and I’m still addicted to it, still want it all the time and every minute of my life. I still consider it my best private moment, my meditation, one of my energy sources & good mood.
Right now I am just in the very moment of the doldrums. My summer trips, as it happened to me in spring after my European Kizz tours (Rotterdam/Amsterdam/Geneva/Brussels/ Luxembourg), has come to its end, and I feel a kind of empty… I’m coming back to my normal real life, trying to work hard, cope with my duties, enjoying sunny weather….. but actually the only place I’d love to be is at some dance floor, rubbing calluses on little fingers, sweating, moving my body in unison with the music beat. Is this any kind of disease? Will this addition ever end?
The level of destruction from a normal life is coming to an extreme point. Addicted, I forget about really important issues, related to my family, work and health. Sometimes I get scared of myself for being so absorbed by the dance, so involved in it, letting it so much space in my heart. When I go home on holidays to visit my parents, that I haven´t seen for 2 years, the only thing I think about is to dance kizomba over there, to find a nice store of dancing shoes (they are life 2-3 times cheaper in Russia) and to write a new post about my Russian kizz-experience. I´m no longer interested in Irish pubs with my old beer-friends. Even though I try to control myself, my life has definitely changed since this amazing dance knocked at my door…